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Musings on the Tanach written by The Yellow Hobbit's Journal
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Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in Musings on the Tanach written by The Yellow Hobbit's LiveJournal:

Thursday, May 25th, 2006
1:57 pm
it's a bit longCollapse )

x-posted to my LJ
Thursday, May 11th, 2006
11:29 pm
After a long hiatus, the yellow hobbit is back to midrashing!!!
It's alanscottevil's Hebrew birthday, so I'm giving him a midrash.

Terah had 2 twin sons, Abraham, and Tsvi-Hersh-Efrayim. Abraham, being the eldest, was destined to inherit the family business, a store that sold wood idols of George Bush. It was located in the faraway kingdom of Huntsman Hall.

However, one day Abraham wandered off into the woods, and met some crazy people with guitars, and unnaturally colored hair, who talked of this newfangled practice called "recycling" whereby one tree could be used again and again, instead of cutting them all down to make wood idols of George Bush. Abraham liked this idea, and liked these crazy people [they called themselves "hippies"] and came back singing their enchanting music.

His father and his brother thought he was crazy, but prayed to the idols for his recovery. Days went by, with no change. Abraham was still singing and recycling.

Eventually they decided that Tsvi-Hersh-Efrayim should get the family business, and Abraham should be sent back into the woods.

He picked up another enchanting melody, which he called "every time we touch." And as he sang it, the trees started moving. Their roots grew at an exponential rate, breaking through all barriers.

The trees broke into Huntsman Hall and into Terah's shop, and smashed the idols of George Bush.

As a result, Abraham became the very first iconoclast. And to this day he continues to love that word.
Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
2:16 am
Monday, December 12th, 2005
1:55 pm
If anyone has a request of a certain biblical [or non-biblical] story they want me to midrashcize, either reply here or post your request, and i'll do my best to write something amusing. the best part is, I'll dedicate it to you.

Cross-posted in my LJ
1:34 am
1:20 am
An exchange between Rachel and Leah
And Reuben worked with wool, and made it into fuzzy yarn. Then Rachel said to Leah: 'Give me some of your son's fuzzy yarn.'And she said unto her: 'Is it a small matter that you have taken away my husband? and would you take away my son's fuzzy yarn as well?' And Rachel said: 'I don't really want to sleep with him, it's not like he's giving me any kids. and he's an engineer.' [in those days it was known of engineers and their skills, and their way with women was not among them.] And Jacob came from the field in the evening, and Leah went out to meet him, and said: 'you're mine tonight. I bought you with my son's fuzzy yarn' And he lay with her that night. And Rachel knitted a technicolored dreamcoat.
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